It is I, Cool Sloth, and I would like to take this time to share with you an unusual event that occurred recently in my homeland. (Note: If you are reading this dry-humored blog in hopes of getting a good chuckle, I'm going to have to ask you to lower your standards a wee bit).
Okay, now that that's over, I'll get to it. The following escapade took place just this past summer. This is my story. *Cue Law and Order sound*
One July night, a few friends and I were driving along a gravel road on the way to a "social gathering", if you will. Everyone, including the driver, was very excited to arrive at our destination, and this resulted in our speed being a tad excessive. We zoomed over a small hill, and what we found on the other side was a bit more than we bargained for. A large cow had decided to park itself right in the middle of the road. There was no way of stopping in time, so me and my friends (and the cow, I'm assuming), braced for impact. The cow let out a desperate "moo", but to no avail. Next thing you know, bumper met beef.
Oh yeah, let me remind you that we were in a small-sized car, so the cow had a considerable size advantage over us. It hit the windshield and proceeded to do an airplane-style barrel roll over the roof of the car. I'd say this whole thing occurred in about a third of a second, so you could imagine our alarm. The cow then rolled over the back window and off of the now totalled car. Let it be known that no one in the car was hurt in the least bit, but unfortunately, I can't say the same for the cow. The only thing I could say was that the poor animal was in the wrong place at the wrong time. To this day, my friends and I still feel sympathy for that cow. It only wanted to mind its own business and munch on some grass, but instead, it ended up finding a one-way ticket to the butcher shop. May it rest in peace.
I don't know about you, but I think stories like this are hard to come by. In fact, I'd say that they're about "medium rare".
I'm having a really hard time deciding whether to laugh or groan about this one... Medium rare?!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad no one in the car was hurt, but what happened to the car? Did it end up with a cliche straight-out-of-the-movies cow-shaped dent in the roof? Or the bumper?
Well the car was completely totalled. Roof caved in, windows smashed, etc. And no, there was no comically shaped dent in the car, although I think that would have provided us with a bit of a laugh despite our ordeal. I will admit that me and my friends having to pitch in $1500 to replace the cow was not fun at all.
DeleteYou and your friends are very fortunate to have not been hurt by this poor cow! Being from a small town, I understand the fear of hitting a large animal, such as a cow on a rural road and also understand how much speeding occurs on these back roads. It really is a dangerous combination.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your concern. The cow couldn't have been in a worse place, there was absolutely no way of stopping in time. Oh well, live and learn i guess.
DeleteI am glad no one got hurt! I have never heard of someone hitting a cow before. There are many stories about hitting a deer or a moose, but not cows. What happened with the cow afterwards? Did you just leave it in the middle of the road? Or did you Moooooo-ve it out of the way?
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it happens more than you'd think. And yes, the cow was moved to the side of the road where it couldn't cause any more mishaps.
DeleteSomeone should pass along to the cows loved ones that it's final words were "moo". I'm sure it would bring their cow family great comfort in coping with their loss.
ReplyDelete